Wow, my life two weeks ago, almost 3, was completely different. We were preparing to start Clomid, and the thinking was that sometimes in the next few months there would be a baby on the way. Now, it is get through each day the best I/we can and pray that eventually we will be able to go back down the fertility path once I am better.
January 8th, I walked into the optometrist with the thought that I needed a new prescription and all would be fine. What I didn't expect was being told that I needed to see a neurologist right away. I was first told that it might be ms, and then I was told that it might be a brain tumor, and now we know for sure it is Intracranial Hypertension. I had no clue that existed, or what it even was.
Basically my body doesn't absorb any extra spinal fluid, and this causes pressure in my brain, and leaves one with a general feeling of unwell, and often headaches, and in some cases swollen optical nerves like mine. It can lead to blindness if it is not treated. Since the mri showed nothing wrong, it has been a whirlwind of testing. I have had more needles stuck in me than I would ever like, and my life has completely changed. Instead of my life changing in a way that I thought it would at this point, it has gone down a completely different path. I cannot fathom what life will be like, I just don't know and that is scary. It is hard to stay positive when looking at all that we will be dealing with, including medical bills. The one thing I can control, is what I eat. I can control what goes in my mouth, and because of this, following my eating plan has been so much easier. I have lost 10 lbs since the beginning of the year, when I was at my highest at 298.
Supposedly losing weight will help with this disease. It is supposed to help with the swelling, and I hope that it does. I do know it will help with ovulation.
I am so ready to not be tired by the middle of the day. I wish I had the energy to go home and clean and organize, but I don't. Some days cooking is too much. I am grateful, and amazed at the gift God has given me in my husband. He provided him in my life at just the right time, when I was going to need the support and love of someone. He is my strength, as well as God.
I will make it. I can do this. I have faith, but it is going to be a long road to that first baby. Not what I thought it would have been 20 years ago when I was turning 13 and had my life mapped out. In fact it looks nothing like that, but God has a plan, and I will follow where I am told to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment