I am kicking IIH ass...

God is great! I have literally been in 5 months of hell. Only a week ago I was to the point thinking I will never be able to have children. That I would be told no month after month because we were waiting for my IIH to get better. I only have a mild form of it, but I just didn't see the light at the end of tunnel. My faith wavering as I contemplated how I could have something like this. Then last week on the way home from church after having my mother tell me to suck it up, when only that makes me more sick, I cried the whole way home and asked that my appointment the next wednesday be one in which you still have IIH, but we think that it is time to let you move on. That it will be ok to have a baby.

See I was on a medication that is known to cause birth defects and it was giving me horrible side effects. I didn't want to be on it, I wanted off but they kept insisting to give it a try, take it a little longer. I didn't want to. I didn't want that drug to work because while on Topamax there was no way my Obgyn would agree to doing fertility treatments. My cardiologist wanted me back on the Verapamil which was a medicine that my Ob didn't want me on again for baby reasons. I stopped taking everything, including allergy pills. The only thing I take is spirolactone. It wasn't until last week that I realized that this med is given to PCOS patients, and it acts like estrogen.

Looking back over the last four weeks, I have lost almost 19 lbs, have finally started to eat better because the meds aren't giving me bad side effects any more, and my neurologist gave me the best news I have heard since January. We can finally try to have a baby. No more lets wait and see. No more I don't think this is the time. Instead it was, yes I don't think there will be any issues except you will probably have to have a c-section. I am ok with that.

This is why God is Great. My situation could have been so much worse. Two months ago I was looking at having a shunt put in. I had walked away from UCLA angry, offended, and upset that the Dr wouldn't do anything. I was convinced that a shunt was my only option. I couldn't take the meds. I was allergic to sulfa and wasn't willing to try them for fear that I would end up sicker. I kept reading about how people were not having good experiences with shunts, but I didn't want to keep going as I was going. I also didn't want to learn to live with the symptoms. That wasn't ok with me. I wanted it fixed. I wanted a solution.

Without this person realizing it, they gave me an option to lose weight. They told me about Arbonne, and with that program I have managed to get my headaches to a minimum of pain. With the new meds and food plan I have been able to get the swelling to disappear in my right eye, and the swelling in my left to go down. I still don't see well in my left, but that has to be better than being blind which is what I was facing if we didn't get control of the situation.

So with all of this, last wednesday night on my way home in the midst of tears I prayed that if this isn't going away, I wanted God to help me to get used to the symptoms, to realize my limits, and to have the Dr on my 11 months anniversary to my husband to say that you can move forward. You can try to become a mom.

Yes I am a mom to almost 200 students, and many of them I am more of a mom to them than what they have at home. My heart breaks every day for those kids, but it isn't the same. And now, thanks to God and his guidance of my Dr's, I get to try for that. I get to realize that dream.

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."--Philippians 4:13

You need to fill those rooms....

We are moving into a house in the next few weeks. When we tell everyone how many rooms there are, they say now you need to fill up the rooms. They are implying we must have children now. While this is a great notion and reason we went with a house and why we got the rooms that we did, it is still hard to hear. It is almost like they are rubbing it in that we haven't had a baby yet.

I know we haven't been married a whole year yet, but it seems like an eternity with the baby thing. I figured that we would be at least pregnant by now. If we had gotten pregnant on the honeymoon we would have already had that little bundle of joy in our arms. It didn't happen, and now we are here 9 months later, and there isn't even a pregnancy. Instead, I am stuck with a rare disease that we hope gets under control enough that we can have children, and then when we get the chance to really try again, we will have to do fertility treatments.

It all sucks. There isn't much I or my husband can do about it, but trust that God has plan. That we will be given the perfect baby when the time is right. I don't have the answers as to why all this has happened, but I know God does, and he will heal. I am just really impatient right now.

New alternative drug...

Well I have some answers. My neurologist thought I would have to have a stent. After I left his office he called and told me he found an alternative medicine for me to take. It doesn't contain sulfa, and it works the same as the Diamox and the Lasix. Spironolactone doesn't even have the same side effects as the other drugs. I am now off the Topamax, and taking this and no more tingling feet and hands. No more weird hormonal problems. It seems to me that even my vision is getting better. So with the combination of the new diet and the meds, I am feeling a lot better. I hope it continues. I might even be able to go back and start fertility treatments in the next month or so if it looks like it is going into remission.

I am so thankful and excited. God does work in mysterious ways. A week ago I was in despair as I thought this was a never ending cycle. I now have hope that things will work out.