God's blessing pour out...

I am amazed at the many blessings I have received. I have never once been wanting for home, food, or shelter. I have truly had a blessed life. After reading my dear friend's autobiography essay she wrote for college recently, I sit and reflect on my life. We were both in college at the same time, we were both focused on finishing in the next couple of years. Both looking forward to getting out of the situations we were in with our families. And yet our paths went two different directions.

Mine, I went on to transfer and finish my BA, then a teaching credential, and then a master's. I have had almost stable employment since finishing my credential, although that doesn't mean it has been the best of times. She had to drop out. She had to fight to even finish her AA, and has gone from minimum wage job to minimum wage job. She was almost homeless. She still is. She was recently in a car accident that totaled her car, keeps her from working, and with the need of health care she can't afford. Yet in ways she has a more positive attitude about her life than I do sometimes. She doesn't let her circumstances keep her from accomplishing what she wants to. Yes it may take her longer than she thinks it will, and yes there have and will be many more hurdles, but she just keeps on pushing.

I want that resilience. I want to be able to just keep on trucking. I have learned so much in the last week as I have helped her to get the medical care she needs. She gives so much of herself, any way that she can to others who are in need. She is in need herself, yet she is so selfless. She truly is a reflection of God. With that said, through her I can see how to be strong. I can see that it is okay to be upset at times at the circumstances thrown in path.

I can also see the God blesses in ways that we may not begin to understand or want. He gives us exactly what we need at that time. With that I have begun to see the many blessings in my life lately. I was given a doctor who is the perfect person to help us on this journey to become parents. Once I felt that I could share my story, I no longer was alone on this journey with my husband who didn't quite understand my health concerns, I had wonderful family and friends who have had similar experiences who have shared with me what worked or didn't work, but most of all have been supportive. I don't have a mother who I can really go to about this. Every time I try to talk to her about she walks away, or starts talking about something else. I wish I had that relationship with her, but I never will. I see that, I recognize that, and have set boundaries for how she can treat me. Maybe one day there can bet rue healing, but until then I understand and accept what it is.

I am blessed with a wonderful group of woman on babycenter.com who have shared with me their struggles at the moment, and who are there, and wholely understand the issues I am facing. When I am down, they are there to be the positive ray of sunshine in my day, and have helped me to keep going as the days, weeks have gone on.

I have been blessed with finding books on my exact problems with PCOS, and given a way to have some sense of control of my health and weight. I am finding that I really do love these foods, that I am full when I should be, and I don't have this constant craving for sugary things. I love it, and I love feeling in control. With all the other emotional aspects, and the often feeling out of control of my own fate, this eating plan has given me something that I can control, and the knowledge that I am doing something good to help the ovulating issue.

I really, truly can't wait to see the other blessings that God has in store for me this year.